Tips for Getting The Chicks

Be cool and confident. Don’t get upset with other people while you are with her. It’s embarrassing and undermines your “gentleman” image.

Age difference is less of an issue even if that whisky you're drinking is older than she

Don't be quid pro quo. Tell her you are looking for exciting dialogue and mean it.

Everyone’s so busy you need three girlfriends to get two dates a week.

Once you have one girlfriend, offers come out of the woodwork.

If the conversation is going nowhere, realize it’s her, not you. So cut your losses.

Don't be disappointed if she is uninformed on international affairs. That's what watching only Fox News does to you.

Remember she has to sell the new man in her life to friends and family. So give her something to work with.

Go young. Middle aged women tend to bring the disappointments and frustrations of a failed previous relationship to the new relationship. If she is treating you like her recently divorced ex-husband, forget it.

If she’s hitting the bottle heavily, “tonight’s the night.” She’s preparing her excuses. Watch out for the “You seduced me” routine. She’ll trot this out even if she spent most of the night on top of you.

Make your move with confidence. Don’t fumble with her underwear; that’s for adolescents. Just ask if she prefers a bath or a shower alone.

Be very selective. Pick someone you think is way out of your league and raise your game.

The most difficult skill as far as a relationship is concerned is not starting it, but ending it without getting a knife in your back (just kidding).